STD

AK and I decided to talk online. It was his very first time. AK happens to be technologically handicapped. It's his fundamental lack of gizmo knowledge that brought us together. That story will be told another day. He is gay, highly dramatic, has a sharp, disgusting tongue and is in love with himself. Just a bit from our conversation:


AK: Bitch, just come online. Give me your ID.
ME: Give me yours. It's easier that way.
AK: Okay. It's c.o.lo.u einsteadofr purple
ME: (Pause) What?
AK: C.o.lo.u e instead of r purple.
ME: (Long silence) What? Why?
AK: I typed it in the dark.
ME: Okay.
AK: So what's happening in your boring life?
ME: Nothing much really. And you?
AK: You know what? Today I went to a doctor and I discovered I have an STD.So then I had to take tests and get all kinds of pills. Then I had to go to a Orthopediatrist for my back and he also gave me some pills. So sad na. Why am I getting all this?
ME: You're getting old.
AK: No. I'm just a diseased personality.

AK: Oh wow. What are these? Hee Hee Hee Hee. What is this dolly doing?
(bow)
 (emo)
 (u)
 (puke)
(hug)
(sun)
 (rain)

AK: They are so cute. Send me some na please.
ME: Oh my God. Here you go.
(flex)
(punch)
AK: Oh oh oh oh. Why are you hitting the poor dolly? Please please don't hit her
ME: Okay. Who the fuck is dolly?
AK: These dollies. They're so sweet.
(makeup)
Me: Oh my God. You mean the smilies?
AK: Whatever.

Me: I think I have a crush on my boss.
AK: Ohhhhhhhh.Same here. That always happens to me. I always have crushes on my boss.
        And my subordinates.
        And my juniors.
        And my customers.
        Ohhh. Just like you.