Massage Parlour

Yesterday was one of those days in the train when I was sandwiched so badly between women that one could name a special after me in a subway joint. On my way back from work, I took the train during peak hour. BIG MISTAKE. However, it gets me home faster so I should be able to endure sweaty armpits, dry hair tickling my face, elbows digging into my chest and high heels grinding my feet for 35 minutes. Also, how can I forget the pure entertainment that women provide with their fights and absolutely original dialogues.
I have come to realize that traveling by train can be very therapeutic for  people. It's a platform for everyone to come de-stress and relax. I can almost imagine a flier much like those adorned by a compartment saying the following.
  "Had a bad day? Vent it out in the train. Your boss yelled at you? Make sure you take it out on someone in the train for best results! Will leave you refreshed,relaxed and at peace. Love life at it's worst? Take that frustration out right here! Grope all you want! Make sure you leave the other person gasping for some more fragrant sweaty armpits!"
Apart from the mental relief a train journey leaves you with, it also provides you with a great workout. Being pushed around almost like a tidal wave can literally do wonders for you.In fact, a woman in the train yesterday articulated my exact feelings.
She got in at a stop from one side and had to go to the other side for her stop which was just 2 stations away.Between the two doors are women clammed onto each other, gasping for breath and stuck in positions that could compete with a yoga aasana. This woman who we'll call "Loudspeaker" for she couldn't stop yelling at the top of her voice was annoying everyone with her constant commentary. Another woman who we'll call "Slow" was trying to get out of the very door where loudspeaker stood. She was stuck deep inside and had to get off at the next stop.In super fast Marathi and at a decibel that pierced through 70 eardrums, she yelled over about 30 heads:
Loudspeaker: "Arre Madam, where do you have to get off?"
Slow: "Next stop."
Loudspeaker: "And it struck you now?"
Slow: "Arre...how can I make it through this crowd"
Loudspeaker: "Well exactly why you should have thought of that earlier. Were you fast asleep. Move fast to make some space for us. My god. You are so slow. You'll have to dance your way through.
Another woman remarks quietly: "Oh this stupid woman just keeps shouting."
Loudspeaker: "Haaaan... Me shouting because Idiot woman standing only. My stop coming. Woman coming next year"
Slow gyrating violently:  "I'm trying..see na"
Loudspeaker: "Oh My god...are you going to massage everyone on your way over now?"